Fear...LESS

Updated: Mar 1, 2020



Photo by Ian Froome on Unsplash

No matter the challenges any of my clients bring to me, there’s one thing at the root cause of just about all of them.


Fear.


And I can tell you that all of my own coachable moments spring up from the same thing.


Fear.


So, needless to say, I study this topic a lot.


Most of the time we think fear doesn’t really affect us because maybe we’re not really reaching for anything that really, truly scares us. But I’m gonna guess you had to face fear in some way today, even if it was just a tiny sliver.


Maybe you delayed responding to that email because you were concerned about being misunderstood.


Maybe you didn’t take that new gym class because it you’d feel silly doing those dance moves.


OK, but those are just table stakes, right? Fear is still at the heart of these hesitations that we face every day. And if we can’t muster up the courage to face down something like this, how could we master something more daunting? Like...


Maybe you didn’t speak up for someone who was bullied at work because you didn’t want to get on that bully’s bad side.


Maybe you didn’t comment on your grieving friend’s Facebook post because you weren’t sure what to say.


Dang. Don’t even get me started on these…


Maybe you aren’t empowering your green but hungry team because you’re worried they’ll fail and put your company or your job at risk.


Maybe you won’t ask for a few extra months of maternity leave because you think they’ll view you as less committed to the job.


Maybe you didn’t go for that C-level promotion because you aren’t sure they think you’re qualified.


When I made the decision to become a coach, I stepped into a complete sh*t storm of fear. I quit my high-paying, high-profile job in advertising, moved to a different state, committed a small fortune to hone my professional skills and gain a credential, and started my own business from zero using said newly polished skill and credential.


People think this makes me fearless. I can assure you it does not. What it does make me is willing to live with fear.


Fear shows up in our everyday lives, in so many different forms - tiny and monumental. And we avoid it at just about any cost. And then we beat ourselves up because we’re supposed to be fierce, dang it! We’re supposed to be fearless! And we don’t even know why we’re so afraid.


Well, I’ll tell you why. Actually, I can show you why: Check out this video that a friend shared with me from author and pastor Andy Stanley.


Andy says that fear is just a manifestation of our ability to remember the past and project it into the future. It’s our ability to imagine what could happen that gives fear its energy. Because it’s pretty easy to let all those past experiences of stories we’ve heard paint a vivid picture of epic failure or disaster on the other side.


But this ability to imagine, to wish and dream, to anticipate…we would never want to give this up. And so, we can never let go of our ability to fear. We would never trade the ability to hope and dream for a fearless life. 


So we’re kinda stuck with fear. If that makes you feel, well, a little afraid, let me first say that it is a completely natural and valid response. 


But, just as Andy Stanley tells us, we can learn to fear...less.


When your faith in yourself exceeds your fear of something, fear loses its power.


Let that sink in for a minute.


When you actually start to believe that you are a powerful and capable creator, and that you already have everything you need to succeed, you will realize that fear can’t really stand up to that.